I Used To Wear High Heels

As I sit here typing this short post and listening to my dogs expelling the noxious gases that have resulted from them eating all the fallen plums in the garden, I find myself reflecting on how the townie I once was could have ended up in rural France with too many dogs, cats and chickens.

You may remember the cockerel, Darth.  I included a bit about him in a previous post when I was researching humane ways to put him out of his misery as he kept falling over and having problems getting up again.  Having rejected the suggested methods, one of which was putting him in a bucket attached to the exhaust pipe of the car, I decided to let nature take its course and see what happened.  Fifteen months later he is still strutting around and making a racket – maybe somebody tipped him off to what I was thinking.

CockerelAged 9

Mlle. Tialys the Younger phoned me when I was at my friend’s house the other day because, on one of her rare trips into the light of day, she noticed Darth was falling over again.  When I got home I had a look at him and realised his spurs had grown so long he had to perform a ridiculous high step to get one leg past the other without impaling himself on them.  I Googled.  I put on my waterproof walking trousers in case of blood or chicken poo, armed myself with a thick towel, virginal garden gloves (Mr. Tialys buys me them in the hope that I might actually do some gardening), the dogs’ nail clippers, some kitchen roll, some disinfectant and one of these –

Baked Potato

Well, my one wasn’t cut open and didn’t have butter on it but a baked potato it was.

As directed on YouTube, I stuck the overgrown spurs of my astounded cockerel into hot potatoes (I took two up with me – one for each leg), patiently waited a few minutes and then had a bit of a twist with the nail clippers.  I should have had pliers but couldn’t find them in Mr. T’s fiendishly disorganised shed.  I didn’t think anything was going to happen but then, suddenly, I felt it give and I got myself a little trophy.

Removed chicken spur

(cotton reel for scale)

This procedure exposed a couple of little bloody stumps  which I squirted with animal disinfectant and, almost immediately, he appeared much more comfortable.

If you had known me back in the day, you would never, ever have believed this was the sort of thing I would end up doing.

Ain’t life funny?

A short post (for me) as I’m off on my holiday soon and I didn’t want you to think I’d given up blogging as I gave up Facebook this week (not difficult) but that’s another story for another time.

Hasta la vista (guess where I’m going).

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  1. #1 by poshbirdy on August 22, 2016 - 17:03

    Wow, that’s quite a spur! I admire your courage and will ‘file’ this somewhere for future use. How did the spud taste?(!!)

    • #2 by tialys on August 22, 2016 - 17:09

      I might have it mounted on a little wooden plaque 😉 I don’t know about the spuds – I let them cool down and gave them to the cockerel and hens to eat – it seemed only fair.

  2. #3 by Janice Marriott on August 22, 2016 - 17:07

    Lynn, you have missed your vocation and should have been a vet,

    • #4 by tialys on August 22, 2016 - 17:14

      It certainly would have saved us some money over the years. I did have a vision once but then Mum handed me a pair of tweezers and asked me to pull out a piece of bread that had got stuck down a bird’s throat and I couldn’t do it. Just as well really as I later proved to be totally ungifted in the science subjects at school.

  3. #5 by sew2pro on August 22, 2016 - 17:15

    “As directed on YouTube, I stuck the overgrown spurs of my astounded cockerel into hot potatoes…”

    I am genuinely in tears (of laughter!!)…

    By the way, we have no dogs here but we do have a plum tree and I can assure you the smell in the house is at times no better than in yours.

    • #6 by tialys on August 22, 2016 - 19:53

      Is it that Blogstalker? 😉

  4. #7 by katechiconi on August 22, 2016 - 17:24

    You’re a better woman than I am. I tried to trim my sheep Ewenice’s hooves one time. It *should* be relatively straightforward. Once you get your sheep into the right position (on her back, as for shearing), she becomes docile. Um, no. Ewenice weighed nearly as much as I do, and was three times more aggressive. I let the vet cop the strain… Disfrute sus vacaciones!

    • #8 by tialys on August 22, 2016 - 19:52

      Only you could have a sheep called ‘Ewenice’ 🙂
      Gracias y buenos noches.

      • #9 by katechiconi on August 23, 2016 - 00:03

        Oh, I had Ewedora too, and the lambs were Rambert, Ramsey and Lambo. All boys, sadly, so they were eaten.
        Buen viaje 🙂

      • #10 by tialys on August 23, 2016 - 09:01

        I don’t think I could eat something I’d given a name to.

      • #11 by katechiconi on August 23, 2016 - 09:11

        I must be very hard hearted… I found it quite easy not to get emotionally attached to sheep. My friends used to come for dinner and ask “who are we eating tonight?” Naming them just helped to differentiate one from the other.

      • #12 by tialys on August 23, 2016 - 10:17

        I think it’s me that is overly sentimental. Too much Disney growing up.

      • #13 by katechiconi on August 23, 2016 - 10:42

        I think it’s more that you’re accustomed to your animals being pets, animal ‘people’…

  5. #14 by Thimberlina on August 22, 2016 - 17:39

    I’m impressed! Despite my job I’m no good with poorly or dead animals, so think that would not be a task for me! Though I still wear high heels! Glad the handsome fella is still going strong 😀

    • #15 by tialys on August 22, 2016 - 19:50

      I have some gorgeous heels but can only wear them a few hours at a time – I think my feet might have spread from spending too much time in wellies and Birkenstocks.

  6. #16 by jendavismiller on August 22, 2016 - 18:07

    So glad sir cockerel’s discomfort was “easily” cured. The hot potato scenario was cute hysterical! I wore high heels once, too, but those days are long gone. And applying monthly flea repellent is about the extent of my veterinary duties. And hmmm, Spain?

    • #17 by tialys on August 22, 2016 - 19:49

      Si, Espana! I still break out the heels now and again but I can’t wear them all day, every day like I used to.

      • #18 by jendavismiller on August 23, 2016 - 13:53

        Oh, do enjoy! We’ll be waiting for the pictures, of course.

  7. #19 by nanacathy2 on August 22, 2016 - 18:16

    High heels, those were the days! Full of admiration for you, the spuds, the cockerel and whoever it was in the first place that figured it out! I am the person that paid a vet to cut our guinea pigs nails. So Respect. Have a good holiday.

    • #20 by tialys on August 22, 2016 - 19:48

      🙂 When we were in the U.K. we had two pet rats. When they were old I took them to the vets to have them put to sleep and cried like a baby. I also took a hen. I think they would put me in the nearest institution if I tried it in rural France.

  8. #21 by dezertsuz on August 23, 2016 - 07:21

    Wherever you’re going have a wonderful time! Looks like España! La Vida Libre for a few days, at least. =) Everyone I know who has moved to the country in any nation winds up doing things they never thought they’d do! I don’t think I’d want to do that one, but you are younger and braver than I. LOL

    • #22 by tialys on August 23, 2016 - 09:06

      Thanks Susan – I’m planning on enjoying being of free of dog, cat and chicken responsibilities for a week, reading a bit, swimming a bit, meeting my daughter’s boyfriend for the first time and hoping we like him as we’ll be spending a week with him, eating simply in the villa or more extravagantly in restaurants, walking along the beach, might go to Salvador Dali’s house again and generally being ‘in holiday mode’.

  9. #23 by sewchet on August 23, 2016 - 09:48

    I, too, used to wear high heels every day for work. Like you, ten subsequent years spent in wellies and Birkenstocks have made heels an occasional event nowadays. If your Cockerel is anything like mine, your girls will be grateful for the spur removal! Does it not hurt them then?

    • #24 by tialys on August 23, 2016 - 10:16

      Well, he’s about 9 years old now and finds it hard to get up the ramp into the hen house these days, let alone on top of an unwilling chicken 😉

  10. #25 by knettycraft on August 23, 2016 - 13:43

    Sounds really rural and adventurous!

  11. #26 by Dartmoor Yarns on August 23, 2016 - 19:01

    Well done you. I’m so squeamish, I’d have definitely assigned that one to LH. Great to see you posting. Have a fab holiday 🙂

    • #27 by tialys on August 25, 2016 - 14:26

      I can’t believe that Bekki – with all the things you must have had to do for Mr. Hicks over the years?

      • #28 by Dartmoor Yarns on August 25, 2016 - 15:47

        Good point, only this week am I bathing and rubbing cream into a very personal area – but removing claws with hot potatoes sounds a whole different ball game.

  12. #29 by Kim Hood on August 24, 2016 - 15:56

    Impressive skills! I’m sure you have a very grateful cockerel!😃

    • #30 by tialys on August 25, 2016 - 14:25

      I thought his heart was going to stop when I had him wrapped up in the towel. When I’d finished, I laid him gently down on the ground and he just lay there as if he were in the relaxation room in a Spa. Of course he’s better off than he was before but I doubt he would thank me for it.

  13. #31 by Chez Shea on August 25, 2016 - 13:38

    Am very impressed! I think I might have been a bit squeamish. Good to find another use for the humble spud!!

    • #32 by tialys on August 25, 2016 - 14:23

      I must say, I would rather eat one slathered with butter and sprinkled with salt but needs must and I couldn’t bear to see him walking around like John Cleese in a Monty Python sketch any more.

  14. #33 by M. L. Kappa on August 29, 2016 - 14:52

    I’m in awe, although I have been known to do equally gross things myself! And Kate, I love your sheep names!

    • #34 by tialys on September 6, 2016 - 10:43

      I won’t ask about the gross things you’ve had to do!!

  15. #35 by Magpie Sue on September 16, 2016 - 19:58

    That hot potato trick is amazing. Who knew!

    • #36 by tialys on September 17, 2016 - 09:11

      Isn’t the internet wonderful (mostly!) – I watched a couple of YouTube videos before I attempted it, just to make sure.

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